I am all for muffins and toplessness. But a topless muffin? Why bother?
I’ll tell you why I bother. I’ve been slacking on eating and reviewing free food. It’s not that it’s unavailable. It’s just that I usually come across it on my way back from lunch or on my way to the bathroom. I always plan on doubling back but by the time I return I find the free food’s either gone or has been picked into something unrecognizable as food.
In response to my inactivity, this muffin was delivered directly to my cubicle this morning. You’ll notice it is without a top. The giver of this muffin insisted that someone else removed the top but I’m not so sure. Chances are she prefers the muffin top but couldn’t stomach eating or wasting the rest. (I know your secrets.)
Basically, in people’s minds I see now that I am one step above a trash can. And I am okay with that, which is why I felt obliged to give this muffin-butt a chance.
To my surprise, it was actually quite good. It was of a sugary-cinnamon flavor that I enjoy, very moist, and overall quite physically and emotionally fulfilling considering the deficiency in topness.
If I were to review this solely as a muffin-butt, I wouldn’t hesitate to give it 4.5 out of 5 plastic forks. But because I can only think about how amazing the crispy sugar-coated top would have been, I am forced to give this stump-of-a-muffin 2 out of 5 plastic forks.
