While I was sitting at my desk this afternoon I felt that oh-so-familiar 3:30 sugar craving start to set in. I was thinking about how I was going to get my fix when suddenly my phone rang. The receptionist told me I had a guest in the lobby. (FYI, I never have guests)
Turns out I misheard her, probably because my glucose levels were hitting rock bottom. She had said I had a “gift” not a “guest”. The gift was a box of fresh cookies and a carton of ice cold milk.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I stared at it in disbelief. “wait, these are for me?” “you’re sure?” “Sure it wasn’t a name that sounded like mine?” I mean, I was taking them regardless of whose name was actually on the card, but I just wanted to know who, just incase it was someone bigger and stronger than me. The receptionist seemed pretty certain they were for me, and after looking at the card it was confirmed. Mine! All mine! Legally!
I was an unbelievable feeling, Kind of like planning to rob a bank, then discovering you own the bank and all the money inside. And it lasted almost an entire minute until I realized that the sender didn’t leave their name, and it’s April fools day.
So, as I eat my third cookie and sip on this ice cold milk I forsee one of two things happening.
1- They are weed cookies, making this the best april fools prank ever. And I am going to be loaded in about an hour. In which case I preemptively rate them 5 out of 5 plastic forks.
2- The sender forgot to leave their name and I actually did something to deserve them. Which makes me feel a little weird. Like I should be thanking someone. but who? I don’t enjoy the uncertainty. So, I am forced to rate these anonymous guilt biscuits 2 out of 5 plastic forks.
